The Myth of “Drowsy But Awake”
What Does "Drowsy But Awake" Mean?
When it comes to newborn sleep, one piece of advice often stands out: put your baby down drowsy but awake. But what exactly does this mean? If you’re a new parent, you’ve likely heard this phrase countless times, and as a sleep consultant I get asked about this all the time with newborn sleep. However, you may have also found it confusing, or even frustrating, because it seems like everyone has their own interpretation of what "drowsy but awake" really looks like.
The Myth of "Drowsy But Awake"
The concept of putting your baby down "drowsy but awake" is often touted as the key to helping babies learn to fall asleep on their own. However, this advice is not as straightforward as it seems. The biggest problem? The term "drowsy" is highly subjective, and what one parent considers "drowsy" might differ vastly from another’s interpretation. This creates a lot of confusion and stress for parents trying to follow this advice to the letter.
For example:
Some might think "drowsy" means the baby is just at the end of their awake time, showing signs of being ready for sleep.
Some parents might interpret "drowsy" as when their baby is blinking slowly, eyes half-closed, or in that dreamy, pre-sleep state.
As you can see, there’s a lot of room for misinterpretation, which is why it’s so hard to nail down what exactly "drowsy but awake" looks like for your little one.
What Does "Drowsy But Awake" Look Like?
So, how can you figure out what "drowsy but awake" looks like for your newborn? The truth is, it can vary from baby to baby.
For some newborns, the transition from awake to sleep is clear and obvious, with distinct signs of drowsiness—like yawning, eye rubbing, or slowing down. To add every baby is unique and may show different signs. But for others, the "drowsy" stage is less clear, and they may not show obvious signs until they’re almost fully asleep. This makes the advice harder to apply in real life and can cause a lot unnecessary stress and confusion. Who needs extra stress, when you are postpartum and adjusting to life with your little one - no one!
The bottom line? It’s an experiment. Every baby is different, and you may need to try several different approaches to find what works best for your little one. Some babies might be able to settle easily when placed down in a drowsy state, while others might need more time and support.
When to Try "Drowsy But Awake"
If you’re thinking of trying this approach, the best time to introduce "drowsy but awake" is during the first few months of your baby’s life—before the four-month sleep regression hits. During this time, your baby’s sleep cycles are still maturing, and it’s easier for them to fall asleep independently. After four months, babies undergo a significant shift in their sleep patterns, making this method less effective and it doesn’t work!
Beyond the Newborn Stage: When "Drowsy But Awake" Doesn’t Work
If you’re still navigating the world of newborn sleep, you might be wondering whether "drowsy but awake" is something you should start from day one. The truth is, you don’t need to rush into this technique right away or at all. In fact, trying to implement it in the early days can cause unnecessary stress, both for you and your baby.
While you can try putting your baby down drowsy but awake as soon as you get home from the hospital, it’s really not necessary and can often lead to frustration for everyone involved. I typically recommend starting to attempt this once a day after your baby is around 4–6 weeks old. By then, your baby will have started to settle into a rhythm, and you may have a better sense of when they’re drowsy enough to try it.
However, after about 12 weeks, you may find that "drowsy but awake" becomes increasingly difficult for your baby. If you’re just starting this technique around this age, expect a lot more resistance and it may not work. The 3- to 4-month mark brings a shift in sleep patterns, and it can become much harder for babies to fall asleep on their own in this way. At this point, it’s often better to focus on baby sleep teaching techniques rather than trying to implement "drowsy but awake."
You Don’t Need to Do This for Every Nap
One of the most common misconceptions about "drowsy but awake" is that it has to be used for every nap and every sleep session. This is not the case! YOU DO NOT NEED TO TRY THIS FOR EVERY SINGLE NAP.
It can be incredibly stressful if you’re trying to get your baby to fall asleep on their own for every nap. In the early weeks and months, it’s more important that your baby gets quality sleep, even if that means cuddling or using sleep props like a carrier or a rocker. You can’t spoil a newborn so enjoy all those contact, cuddly naps - these contact naps are perfectly fine and won’t create bad habits. At this stage, it’s far more important that your baby is well-rested than how they get to sleep.
A Better Goal: Start with Bedtime
If you're feeling ready to try "drowsy but awake," a better goal is to start with bedtime. Their sleep drive is naturally higher in the evening, and it's easier for babies to fall asleep in a darker, quieter environment. This is often a time when sleep comes more easily, making it a great place to begin introducing independent sleep.
Once you feel more confident with bedtime, you can try transitioning to your baby's first nap of the day, and then gradually introduce "drowsy but awake" for other naps as you feel comfortable. Don’t stress about using this technique for every nap right away—baby-wearing and naps on the go won’t interfere with your baby’s ability to sleep well at night. In fact, they can be great ways to help your baby catch up on rest during the day - that’s much more important!
What to Do If "Drowsy But Awake" Doesn’t Work
So, what if you’ve tried putting your baby down drowsy but awake and it’s just not working? Don’t worry—you’re not alone. Many parents encounter this issue, and there’s no need to feel discouraged.
As a sleep consultant, I often talk to parents who were initially able to put their babies down "drowsy but awake," only to find that their baby starts waking up more frequently or is struggling to settle. This is typically due to the natural development of sleep cycles around the four-month mark.
At this point, "drowsy but awake" may no longer be the best method. Babies at this age often need more support to fall asleep independently. In these cases, the advice shifts to something we call wide awake—yes, you read that right! Instead of putting your baby down in a semi-drowsy state, it’s often better to put them down wide awake.
This might sound counterintuitive because you might expect that an awake baby would cry or fight sleep, but the opposite is often true. When babies are placed down wide awake, they have the opportunity to learn to self soothe independently. Over time, this helps them develop independent sleep skills without relying on external sleep props, such as being nursed or rocked to sleep.
Why "Wide Awake" Works
It may seem scary to place your baby down when they’re fully awake, but this approach helps them learn to self-soothe and fall asleep on their own. When babies are put down drowsy, they may associate sleep with being rocked, nursed, or held, which can cause confusion when they wake up in the middle of the night or after a nap. This often leads to more crying and more night wakes due to this feeling of disorientation. They may look for those same sleep associations to get back to sleep, which can lead to more night wakings and sleep struggles. If you want to give it a go, start practicing at bedtime and put them down wide awake, not drowsy or already asleep!
Final Thoughts
The advice to put your baby down "drowsy but awake" is well-intentioned, but it’s not always the best approach for every baby or at every stage. While it may work for some newborns, it can become less effective as babies grow older and their sleep patterns mature. If you find that "drowsy but awake" isn’t working for you, don’t be discouraged! Try placing your baby down wide awake and give them the space to learn how to fall asleep independently. Over time, this can help them develop healthy sleep habits and improve their ability to self-soothe.
Struggling with putting your baby down wide awake and teaching them how to self soothe? I can help! Book a free 15 min phone call to talk about how I can support you 1:1.
Happy sleeping!
