Nightmares vs. Night Terrors: A Parent's Guide to Understanding Your Child's Nighttime Disturbances

28 May

As a parent, it’s tough to see your child frightened at night, whether it’s from a nightmare or a night terror. Both can be distressing for both the child and parent, but they are very different experiences. Understanding the difference between the two and knowing how to respond can help your little one feel more at ease and sleep more peacefully. It's also important to note that not every intense cry during sleep is necessarily a night terror. Let’s explore what each experience looks like, how to respond, and when you may need to seek additional help.

What Are Night Terrors?

Night terrors are intense, dramatic events that usually happen early in the night during non-REM (deep) sleep. Unlike nightmares, your child is actually asleep during a night terror—so they may appear terrified, but they are not aware of what’s happening.

Signs of a Night Terror:

A sudden, frightening scream or shout
Sitting up in bed, eyes wide open, and looking terrified
Heavy sweating, rapid breathing, a racing pulse, and flushed face
Thrashing, kicking, or violent movements
Hard to awaken—if you do manage to wake them, they’ll be confused and inconsolable
Little or no memory of the event the next morning
In some cases, children may get out of bed and run around, or even act aggressively if restrained or blocked

Night terrors typically occur between the ages of 3 and 8 years old. If your child experiences frequent night terrors, it can disrupt the entire household’s sleep, so it’s important to bring it up during a well-child check or consult a pediatrician if any of the following are true:

The night terrors become more frequent
They disrupt the sleep of other family members
There are safety concerns (your child could get hurt)
Your child experiences excessive sleepiness or trouble functioning during the day
Night terrors continue into adolescence or adulthood

Night terrors happen early in the night, typically within the first couple of hours of sleep, making them easier to pinpoint. While they can be alarming, they are not usually a cause for serious concern unless they persist or worsen.

How to Respond to a Night Terror:

Stay calm: In the moment, your child may be difficult to wake and very upset. It’s best not to try to wake them up completely, as this can make things worse.
Supervise: Ensure your child is safe and doesn’t hurt themselves while thrashing or moving around.
Prevent it: The best approach is to try to prevent night terrors from happening. Keep a regular sleep schedule, avoid screens or caffeine before bed, make sure the room isn't too warm (around 18 C is ideal) and create a calm, soothing bedtime routine
Wake to reset: If your child seems to have a night terror at the same time every night, waking them around 10 minutes earlier before their usual terror time for 2 weeks may help them reset and break the cycle.

In some cases, night terrors can be triggered by underlying issues such as sleep apnea or anxiety. If the episodes are frequent or dangerous, your pediatrician may want to explore any potential causes.

What About Nightmares?

Nightmares are scary dreams that happen during REM sleep, and nearly everyone has had one at some point. Unlike night terrors, children are awake when they have a nightmare and can remember the dream in detail.

Signs of a Nightmare:

Waking up crying and visibly upset
Describing what they were afraid of in their dream, often coherently
Asking for comfort, reassurance, or company
Anxiety about going to sleep at bedtime, often because they fear having the same nightmare again

Nightmares typically begin around age 3 when a child’s imagination is starting to develop and common between 3-6 year olds. This is often when children begin to experience a fear of the dark and start to imagine things that aren’t real. Nightmares typically occur later in the night, often after 2 AM.

How to Respond to a Nightmare:

Reassure your child: Comfort them with your presence, and let them know that it was just a dream, and now it’s over.
Provide comfort: Offer a favorite toy, blanket, or anything that can help them feel safe and secure as they transition back to sleep.
Use a nightlight: A warm-toned nightlight can help alleviate the fear of the dark without interfering with sleep.
Help them reframe: In the morning, encourage your child to talk about the dream, draw it, or even come up with a new, better ending. This helps diminish the power of the nightmare and encourages positive thinking. Try to find out if anything else is worrying them.
Stay calm: While it’s important to comfort your child, try not to talk too much about the nightmare in the middle of the night. Instead, focus on getting them back to sleep and discussing it calmly during the day.

How to Prevent and Manage Nightmares:

To help prevent nightmares, especially for young children, it’s beneficial to teach them the difference between reality and fantasy. Age-appropriate discussions and storytelling can help them differentiate between things that are real and those that are imagined. Acknowledge your child’s fears and reassure them that they are safe. Encouraging self-soothing techniques—like cuddling a favorite stuffed animal or having a sip of water—can also empower them to cope with fear on their own, but of course you are there to offer support if they need it.

Another great way to help children feel more comfortable with the dark is by turning it into something fun. Consider going on stargazing walks with a flashlight or building a cave fort with a campfire, or bathtime with glow sticks, creating positive associations with darkness. While nightlights can sometimes create more shadows and fuel fears, offering comfort items such as a parent’s shirt can help your child feel secure.

Many children are afraid of the dark, and this can be a common precursor to nightmares. If your child is asking for a nightlight or expressing fear at bedtime, it’s a great opportunity to introduce one. Opt for a warm-toned (red, orange, amber) nightlight, which is less likely to interfere with melatonin production, and place it somewhere in the room where it won’t be too distracting. You can start with a brighter light, but gradually dim it over time to make sure it’s comforting without becoming a sleep disruption.

Be mindful of what they watch on TV, I know this can be tricky! We all use TV as a tool (so do I) when my kids are tired after school or I need a minute to cook dinner. One thing that helps me is replacing evening screen time with calm activities (reading, coloring, puzzles etc), this can help protect that wind down time before bed and relax their brain - and try to avoid screen time at least 1 hour before bedtime. Researchers have stated that exposure to TV has been linked to sleep terrors, nightmares in some children. Parents should be mindful of technology use, in particular intense, scary, or stressful content - this rings so true as my oldest son can’t even watch any Disney movie with a villain in it otherwise he has trouble sleeping that night - remember every kid is different and it may not affect your child but I think being mindful of what they watch can help especially if they are experiencing anxiety at bedtime and nightmares! If you fancy a read of the study, you can find the study here.

Nightmares vs. Night Terrors: Key Differences

Night Terrors

Happens early in the night, during deep sleep

Child has no memory of the event

Child is disoriented and confused when waking

Child is terrified

Movement is unrestricted, as muscle paralysis hasn’t kicked in

Typically no awareness of the episode in the morning

Nightmares

Happens later in the night, during REM sleep

Child can recall the dream and may talk about it

Child is usually oriented and aware when they wake

Child is afraid but doesn’t display intense fear

Movement may be restricted due to REM sleep paralysis

Child will likely talk about the nightmare during the day

Is It Really a Night Terror?

If your child suddenly cries out intensely, it may not necessarily be due to a nightmare or night terror. It’s important to consider other possible causes. The most common culprit especially for children under the age of 2 is, an imbalance in their 24-hour sleep needs or sleep associations (like relying on help to fall back asleep) can lead to these waking episodes. If the crying or fear continues, and especially if your child is over the age of 2 and has developed an imagination, a nightmare may be more likely.

Both night terrors and nightmares can be distressing for children and parents alike, but they are part of normal childhood development. Understanding the difference between the two will help you respond in the best way possible. With the right approach, most children will grow out of these nighttime fears as they get older. In the meantime, providing comfort, reassurance, and a safe sleeping environment will go a long way in helping your child feel secure at night.

If you ever feel concerned about the frequency or intensity of night terrors or nightmares, don’t hesitate to consult your pediatrician for advice and peace of mind.